Hello, 2009.

I guess when you have a place to write things you're supposed to reflect about the past year when a new one starts. I have spent the past few days reflecting on 2008, and one things keeps coming to mind "boy, 2008 sure was a long year". I don't know if anyone else felt that way, and I can't say I've every felt that way about any other year. Maybe it's that so much has happened in one year, and I think I've changed a lot. So with that, let's talk about the "longest" year of my life...

In 2008 I made some mistakes, and tried to find some freedom for my soul, and figure out who I am. In 2007 I found myself feeling trapped, desperate to rediscover who it is I am. With the start of 2008, I promised myself that I would get out of the "trap" I had perhaps thrown myself into, and start again. Along the way, I think I gave my heart to people/things I don't think I should have. I don't regret anything, and I definitely don't think I did anything regrettable. However, I wished I was more careful with my heart, and perhaps the heart of one of the people I love the most in this world. In 2008 I learned the value of patience, and of best friends. I learned that it's okay not to rush into something, and a good thing just might come as a surprise. I allowed myself to fall in love (okay, that's the only cheesy thing I'll say). I learned (and am still learning) how to love people, truly, and deeply. And with the end of 2008 I found I had to learn to let some things go. I left Gordon, and unfortunately that meant that I left some people who impacted my life greatly. I miss them terribly, and I don't know if they really know that. I had a great roommate who became one of my best friends. Life is busy, and with a Gordon schedule, it's hard to talk to some people (to you, Steph, and my other Gordon friends, you mean a lot, and I value your friendship!). I learned that there are some things that are just out of my control, and decisions may be made that don't make sense (and may even be wrong), but I just have to live with them. And so, I had to let go.

With the start of 2009, I vowed to leave the problems of 2008 behind. Now, there are some who like to continue to talk about problems of 2008, but I try to be silent on these things. I am trying to heal, trying to move on, and I am doing pretty well. I don't know what will happen in 2009, I just hope it doesn't seem as long as 2008 :) Time is short though, so I guess I will take what will seem like a long year. I hope to travel somewhere (anywhere, really). I hope that I am forced to rely on the One who can make me content through everything, wherever I am, no matter the circumstance. I hope to grow into a better person, a better adult. I will find time to relax (hard to do), and time to read. I wish I had read more in 2008, and so, in 2009, I will read! I don't know what to expect, but I hope this year is filled with joy (i will smile more), learning, and love.

Cheesy right?